I know when I started this blog I made a promise to not discuss anything too personal as it ruins the idea of my blog being able to pertain to everyone and that it just becomes an average journal. I must break this promise though because it needs to be done.
I just finished a production of "Chicago" that ran for four shows and had a month of daily rehearsals. To sum things up it was fantastic. The show was good for sure and it gave me a chance to really shine as a character actor, but that is not why the show was so special. The fact I cried for a good 15 minutes driving home after dropping off two of my friends for the last time is only a testament to how much I loved this show. Rarely do you get to work with a group of actors so talented but also so kind. From day one the group was accepting and loving.
Though I enjoy theater at my school I have always felt limited by it. Due to the fact I came in mid way through high school instead of the beginning I always felt like I never got a chance to be myself. Though many people in my theater are nice, they can be judgmental and as a result I never have been truly myself. The past month though I have been nothing but myself. For once I felt like I had no limitations. Yes there was a moment here and there of stupidity (and a situation that I was kicking myself about), but never did I feel like I was not myself. People liked me for who I was and no feeling is better. Everyone was supportive and always there for each other. So many friends were made that I hope I do not lose. I was able to be open to people I had not known for a while, and was able to share without judgment.
As I left alone in my car after dropping my two friends off, I could not help but cry. I was going to miss everything about the cast. Most importantly the love and acceptance of each other. I knew it was an experience that was going to be hard to find again but as I looked at the stars I could not help but think it can be found again. The beauty over took me and as the memories came back and the happiness I felt during the show the tears started to roll down. I was going to miss it too much.
I could go on and on for a long time about how much this show and the people meant to me but I do not wish to bore you. To make a super long emotional story short, thank you to everyone involved. You have given me the best theater experience in my life and reminded me to be myself. Though my exit music was played, I never left the stage. Though the last tear drop has fallen, the memories carry on.
"Good, isn't it?
Grand, isn't it?
Great, isn't it?
Swell, isn't it?
Fun, isn't it...
But nothing stays
In fifty years or so
It's gonna change, you know
But, oh, it's heaven
Thank you and much love. I can never return to you what you have given to me.