Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Idea of a Man

What is a man? According to the dictionary it is "an adult male," and a male is defined as a human with one X and one Y chromosome instead of two X ones. In the dictionary manly is defined as "having or denoting those good qualities traditionally associated with men, such as courage and strength." That is the text book definition of what a manly male is. A person with a Y and X chromosome who has male traits such as courage and strength. My question is why has society screwed up such a basic definition to almost unreachable standards.

In today's society to be manly you have to be tough, like sports, athletic, strong, and etc. The image of being manly has become totally askew. Usually I would not care about this. I have gone through my period of trying to be "manly." In the process I almost lost all my friends and myself. It was a dumb period that I am ashamed I did, but I felt so "wrong." I felt bad that I rather take an acting class than play football or watch a few movies with some friends instead of going out and partying. At the time (about 4 years ago) I was ashamed of this. However now I am not. It is who I am and I have no problem with that. My problem is that because of this I do not fit the deinition of manly and then fall into categories that I am not. The most prominent being gay.

Now first off I have nothing against people being gay. One of my best friends is and this has never changed my views on him. I only have a problem when people falsely judge me and put me automatically into a category that I am not. I will be the first to admit that I am not the most "manly" looking guy when compared to today's standards. I am tall and slender and do not have a whole lot of muscle. I am lean, but not built. I also am open about my emotions and have no problem being there for people and enjoy theater and so on and so forth. Just because I am not "manly" though does not mean I automatically must be gay. It is a first impression most get of me and is a big reason I know of why I can fall into the friend zone. It is very upsetting. Does it make me any less of a man that I enjoy writing about the world and my feelings on a blog instead of watching a sport's game? The answer is no. I am not saying that people who are gay are less than of a man, but unfortunately society does not always have the same views as me. The fact someone can think I am gay and when they learn I am not still believe I am and am just lying to myself is hurtful (this has happened to me before).

The fact that while writing this blog post I am thinking "gosh this is only going against my point because I am being pretty feminine" is just sad. Why does society have to be so ignorant and narrow minded? I have no problem with who I am, but it is hard when first impressions of me are completely off. Being a man use to mean being a gentleman, a definition I try to live by. Being a man now just means being strong and big and showing no fear, kind of like a brick wall.

-Brandon

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