In movies there is always a scene where the main character looks down and out. Everything looks awful and it looks like there will be way out of it. Something happens though and the character has a revelation and despite the odds he gets back up and fights for his cause. He "grows a spine."
After my last post about me being a Nameless Cowboy, I had the same revelation. As my previous post explained there was a girl, I like this girl, but decided not fighting for my cause was the best for her. Though I thought the post was very well written and personally one of my favorites, afterwords I still felt empty. Usually after I write a post whatever I was feeling regarding the situation relieves and I move forward. I however could not move past the feelings I still felt of disappointment and "what if?" I then had a moment of brilliance and realized what was wrong. If I liked her so much why did I not fight? Why did I simply stop just because I feel like it was my duty? Why did I not make it clear why I thought we were good for each other? Why did I simply just turn off the lights again and walk to another town? As a new found passion flooded me, I took a leap of faith and once again told her how I felt. The only difference being this time I pushed for us and was completely honest.
Now as of right now the results are no different. I however could not be happier with what I did. I fought for what I believed in and wanted and did not let my fears pull me down or redirect my course. I was honest, open, and most importantly myself. I was able to be more offensive without losing my kindness and caring for her. I said what I truly believed and did fight. I could not be more proud of how I handled it. I pushed for what I thought was true without having to attack the other parties. I remained the bigger man. I do not know however if things will work in my favor, but at least I can say that I tried and said it as it was.
The moral of the story is fight for what you believe in and what you want. It is cliche, I know, but it is the truth. You cannot be disappointed with yourself if you tried your hardest. If you truly care for someone or want something do not back down because of a challenge. However never lose yourself. If you lose yourself you have a chance of only causing more damage. You have to remain present and yourself or not you will push people away. You might still be disappointed with the result you get, but at least it was nothing you did. If you have feelings for something fight, do not give up. I might still be a Nameless Cowboy, but for once I did not leave without my presence known. I could list off more cliches like how you miss 100 percent of the shots you do not take, but I think you get the point. Be strong, be yourself, and be present.
An optimistic blog post, this has not happened in a while...