Monday, January 30, 2012

Glisten (a poem)

The following does not express my current mood or attitude. Just something I wrote in a moment of sadness, but in fact I am pretty happy right now. I repeat I am happy, the happiest I have been in a while, we all just have moments of vulnerability.

What has the world become?
A place of villainy?
A place of hate, despair, and rage
A lack of chivalry.

What has the mind become?
A place of fogginess?
A place of light, then lost of sight
A ground of endlessness.

What has the day become?
A place of  repression?
A place of beauty but yet ends shortly
A land of confusion.

What has the night become?
A place of decisions?
A place of chance, pure luck, and trance
A realm of situations.

What has life become?
A place of misconceptions?
What once was right seems to be left behind
An existence that needs to glisten.

-Brandon  

Monday, January 16, 2012

Passion/Disappointment

A few years ago my parents one day sat me down and asked me what my passion was. Being a middle schooler at the time the question not only came out of nowhere but I had no idea what to say. I came up with some response to avoid the question (despite my parents then giving me evidence why that truly was not my passion) and I just quietly exited the room. It has been years since that day but that question has stuck with me. The question being what is my passion?

As college looms on the horizon and my 18th birthday is just a day away it is hard not to think that life is going to completely change. It is something I have shared plenty of times on the blog but the closer I get the more prominent it becomes. As a result I have started looking once again at the question of what my passion is. A passion gives you a road to follow in life and with many paths about to open it would be nice to have an idea on which one I should follow. 

To completely changed subjects (do not worry there is method to my madness), a few weeks ago my school had auditions for its musical. The musical we are doing is one that I love and has a character I thought I would be perfect for. After spending hours of researching the character, working on my audition pieces, and giving a great audition I got called back for the character I wanted. After giving the best callback I have ever given in my life, I found out I did not get the part, or a named part, even though I thought I did everything correctly. It crushed me and resulted in a week of sadness, anger, and questions. Why did my audition only get me called back for one part? I had put so much time and effort into my audition and truly thought I knew the character so what went wrong? Why did I not earn a bigger role my senior year after years of working my hardest for this theater?  I still do not have answers to these questions and might never have them. I however did get the answer to one question though. Why am I so upset over one part?

This is when I had a revelation. Below all the tears and anger I discovered something. I was not upset because I did not get the part, I was disappointed that after putting so much time and love into something I did not get it. In fact I discovered I had something for the part. Something that drove me to spend hours trying to get it and hours mourning over it. I had passion for creation and entertainment

Passion is not something we can find over night. It might be something that some of us never realize we truly have for something. It is not something you just know you have. You have to discover it through life. It is what drives us to excellence but also can cause massive disappointment. It causes highs but can result in the lowest of lows. However, despite being able to emotionally cripple a person for a time it is what pulls that person out and gets them to attempt again. Life is full of disappointments and a lot of the time you have no control on its outcome. You can give it your all and do nothing wrong but sometimes life just has other plans for you. Sometimes it is not that you did nothing wrong, it was just that someone else did something right. In these times you have no control over that outcome. However if you have passion for something you will get back up and jump back into the ring and try again. One day you are bound to finally get that K.O. Besides it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

On that day a few years ago I did share an answer with my parents. At the time they told me it was not true for I did not seem to put any effort into it. As I sat on that couch with them hovering over me I threw out a word just so I could get out of the situation. The word I told them was "theater."

-Brandon

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Contradiction (poem)

Time goes by fast
But yet seems so slow.
The moments race
But still they froze.
It comes in waves
Upon this beach.
Though I walk away
The water hits my feet.

-Brandon